Things you shouldn’t tell the opposite sex

It seems that many a time both men and women say things that ‘they shouldn’t’ say either because it’s offensive or insensitive to their male/female counterpart. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes some things are better left unsaid. I’ve also compiled a list of things you shouldn’t say to both sexes lest you’d intentionally want to face some very dire consequences. So here goes… 

Things you shouldn’t say to a woman:

That outfit makes you look fat/You eat too much

Never ever, ever mention a woman’s weight to her or discuss it unless prompted. If she asks if she’s gained a few pounds say out rightly “No!” Or “Really? I haven’t noticed you look the same to me.”

Why are you so emotional?!

Ah yes… The age old plea of man. Guys, that question will never be answered, don’t even bother to ask! It’s just how it is, leave it there and move on.

You wear too much makeup      
You do not question the amount of cake… I mean makeup a woman puts on her face even if it makes her look like a transvestite! Deal with it and take front and tell her she looks exceptionally pretty.

You’re just like my ex/You remind me of my ex

Guys you are not Usher… Saying she "reminds you of a girl that you once knew" isn’t going to help you! Please refrain from bringing up any ex talk before and during a relationship unless prompted. And if prompted keep your answers short and do not ramble. And please under no circumstances make comparisons sexually with your ex and current woman in front of her.

What... :o did you do to your hair?

Guys, don’t even bother to ask “So why you cut your hair?” Or fathom to understand how difficult it is to maintain. Don’t question weaves and wigs and accept the fact that you cannot touch your woman hair no matter if it’s hers or not! And again say… Yes you like her new hairstyle unless you want to be in her bad books.

Oh you’re so young? You look older…

Stops dead in her tracks *silence* *crickets* You’re going out with a girl for the first time and that’s what you say? No second date for you. If she looks older than 25 it’s none of your business to say so!

You’re cute for a darkie, thick girl etc

But I’m complimenting her aren’t I? Yes and no… By saying your cute for… You’re automatically saying to her that her ‘type of girl’ generally isn’t cute but she’s an exception. Not much of a compliment. It’s best you tell her she’s cute for a goat! (no offence to persons who find goats to be cute). If she looks cute she looks cute full stop. 

No!

Straightforward enough….

You are wrong

Ha! A woman wrong? Blasphemy! Save yourself the time and pressure of an argument, just nod and agree. She’s your customer and she’s always right!

Where are you?

Keeping tabs are a no no. Women dislike it when men come off as insecure and needy for one. For two no one likes to have tabs being placed on their whereabouts.

Your friend is cute

Learnt this the hard way lol you do not tell your significant other they have cute friends! You do not talk about them unless they are brought up in conversation and you absolutely, definitely under no circumstances say they have a nice ass! :P

Now let’s look at what women shouldn’t say to men. Here goes…

Things you shouldn't say to a man:

How you cheap so?

Women… Why alluh so? It the man is fiscally responsible like myself don’t get down on him for it. Additionally you may not know the guys circumstance, maybe he’s saving for something, paying for school or helps out at home. Be more sensitive and pay for ya damn self!

It was good/ok/Your penis is average/I've had bigger/better 

*DJ scratches record* “B*tch are you crazy! After all that sweat and wining best 5 minutes of my life (yes I was timing a new record btw :D) and that’s what you look to tell me"! Seriously women this is a negative, a man rather believe that your stuff is slack than his junk is small. If it’s not working for you move on nah and don’t use that as your reason for breaking up either... make something up!  

You’re so short/Too short for me!

For me this is worse than the aforementioned! After all... In the first instance I just got some action so although you telling me my stuff is small may sting the pleasure of jizzing would balance that off. On the other hand I can’t change my height! O_o so ladies it is not cool to say a guy is too short to date etc or worse yet, you know the guy you’re with is your height or shorter and you were 3 inch hells! Hell to the no!

Where are you?

On the toilet taking a crap where are you? Women and men stop it!

You’re so stupid/dumb!

A man is proud about his intelligence, even if he isn’t all that smart. As a man one of your main functions is to think and make decisions. If you’re telling him he’s stupid then you make him feel that he’s failed at one of his core manly duties.

When we're married/have kids...

*Spits out milk* Ummmmm ladies keep those thoughts to yourself. No man wants to hear that unless he’s 35 and ya’ll together for a while and have spoken around those lines. It’s not cute nor is it mentally healthy.

Be a man!!!

Stupseeeeeeeeeeeeeee Why don’t you be a woman and stop emasculating your man! Under no circumstances do you tell a man this! If he’s deserving or not there are other ways to get your point across. Best you just cut his dick off and done!

It’s just a game!

Brrrrrrr first of all… I didn’t ask your opinion, secondly it’s more than just a GAME!!! And lastly if you really wanted to make yourself useful at that point when the SA Spurs and Man U lost you need only get me a cold Stag, a sandwich and stay quiet! That is all…

My ex was better than you

Well go back with him then and leave me alone! Comparisons aren’t cool on either end of the spectrum.

You don’t make enough money

Make enough money for what exactly? Why don’t you contribute? Spilt the bill sometimes or even pay for us both! *gasp*

You will never amount to anything

Wow… Lowest of all the low blows! A man is all about his future self, the biggest bum has dreams to be successful in the future. This is a pure kick in the balls that packs a sting that could last a lifetime. Try speaking positivity into a man’s life and helping him along his journey to success rather than bringing him down every time there is a bump in the road.

Hold my purse/Go buy some pads for me

Sigh I don’t know why women use these sort of tricks for a man to ‘prove himself’ to you. Is it an act of love to go in the grocery and buy pads or hold your purse? No it isn’t so stop it!

I just got my period

Killjoy/TMI/I wish I didn’t have ears. Why tell us this? Unless we be trying to get some and you brace us, then it’s ok. Other than that no need to know. Also why all the weird names for it? Red riding hood, Monthlys, My time etc. From now on just say you have your P!

I don’t need you for anything!

Men aren’t needy but we like to feel that we’re needed. Makes sense? You could be the most independent woman, work for more money than your man, have a dildo and a good mechanic! Make up some situation where yuh need him!

The moral of the story… People don’t like to hear the truth! Click here to read my poem on The Truth The truth hurts sometimes so we lie to make the opposite sex happy. Is it right? I don’t know… Does it work out in your favor? Definitely! When people become more open to criticism and honesty then and only then can we really tell it like it is without worrying about any backlash. Till then I’ll LMAO (Lie My Ass Off).

So tell me... What are some of the things that I missed out that you think you shouldn’t tell a man/woman? 

Eat your words!