A comprehensive guide to being her bf

Just feeling idle and told one of my best friends I'd make a comprehensive guide into being her bf lol. So here goes...

Rule #1- Don't touch her when she now wake up... She hates that, no hugging nothing!

Rule #2- Be prepared to watch some Walker Texas Ranger... A lot! (Spinning heel kick!)

Rule #3- Buy her Crix! Lot's and lots of Crix! She'll eat it with anything... For bonus points add in some garlic butter

Rule #4- When she says hold her hand... Run! I hope you never have to encounter this...But if you do... RUN!!!

Rule #5- Four letters... SALE! Bonus points if you can point her to the right direction! Can never have too much clothes, shoes, handbags and jewelry! 

Rule #6- Want to surprise her and excite her taste buds? Get her any of these in no particular order... Chow (preferably mango with cucumber), doubles (particularly on a Sunday morning), homemade wantons, shrimp, Chinese, KFC (the Holy food), tamarind balls, Maggi soup, ice cream cones.

Rule #7- Nails! Nails! Nails! Anything to do with it... She's fascinated by it... Try cool nail-polish, add ons and accessories. 

Rule #8- Let her win at Wii...Especially Just Dance (Party rockers in the house tonight) :P 

Rule #9- Don't touch her when she has her P, definitely don't try to rub her belly! 

Rule #10- Don't ever get her white girl wasted...It's not a pretty sight *shutters at the dance moves* 

Rule #11- Strawberry Daiquiris...Blue Martini... Rum and Coke... any of these will do... 

Rule #12- Don't touch her when she now bathe or when she's sleepy...

Rule #13- Wanna spend QT? 8pm-9pm... Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy... Again let her win... She's very competitive..

Rule #14- Carnival time... Get her the latest Soca CD mix for her to play while driving... And periodically the latest music on CD on a whole too...

Rule #15- Friends lime... Don't ever be on her Taboo or Guesstures team... She sucks! But again let her win... 

Rule #16- For you own sake... Be up to the times with Reality television because you're gonna hear a lot about it... A lot!!! *Kim Kardashian ugly cry face* 

Rule #17- I hope you like stale jokes... If Cinderella is the fairest of them all... Then she is the stalest of them all... There gonna be corny and they're gonna come at you fast! 

Rule #18- If you're a man with pride... Don't play any word games with her... You will surely lose! 

Rule #19- Never ask her to wake you up in the morning! Because she does a great job of it and that's annoying! *PING PING PING*

Rule #20- Purple!!! She loves Purple!!! And blue too...

Bonus Rule- Above all else treat her with the kindness, care, respect and love she deserves because she's a special and amazing woman and deserves nothing less...