A comprehensive guide to being her bf

Just feeling idle and told one of my best friends I'd make a comprehensive guide into being her bf lol. So here goes...

Rule #1- Don't touch her when she now wake up... She hates that, no hugging nothing!

Rule #2- Be prepared to watch some Walker Texas Ranger... A lot! (Spinning heel kick!)

Rule #3- Buy her Crix! Lot's and lots of Crix! She'll eat it with anything... For bonus points add in some garlic butter

Rule #4- When she says hold her hand... Run! I hope you never have to encounter this...But if you do... RUN!!!

Rule #5- Four letters... SALE! Bonus points if you can point her to the right direction! Can never have too much clothes, shoes, handbags and jewelry! 

Rule #6- Want to surprise her and excite her taste buds? Get her any of these in no particular order... Chow (preferably mango with cucumber), doubles (particularly on a Sunday morning), homemade wantons, shrimp, Chinese, KFC (the Holy food), tamarind balls, Maggi soup, ice cream cones.

Rule #7- Nails! Nails! Nails! Anything to do with it... She's fascinated by it... Try cool nail-polish, add ons and accessories. 

Rule #8- Let her win at Wii...Especially Just Dance (Party rockers in the house tonight) :P 

Rule #9- Don't touch her when she has her P, definitely don't try to rub her belly! 

Rule #10- Don't ever get her white girl wasted...It's not a pretty sight *shutters at the dance moves* 

Rule #11- Strawberry Daiquiris...Blue Martini... Rum and Coke... any of these will do... 

Rule #12- Don't touch her when she now bathe or when she's sleepy...

Rule #13- Wanna spend QT? 8pm-9pm... Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy... Again let her win... She's very competitive..

Rule #14- Carnival time... Get her the latest Soca CD mix for her to play while driving... And periodically the latest music on CD on a whole too...

Rule #15- Friends lime... Don't ever be on her Taboo or Guesstures team... She sucks! But again let her win... 

Rule #16- For you own sake... Be up to the times with Reality television because you're gonna hear a lot about it... A lot!!! *Kim Kardashian ugly cry face* 

Rule #17- I hope you like stale jokes... If Cinderella is the fairest of them all... Then she is the stalest of them all... There gonna be corny and they're gonna come at you fast! 

Rule #18- If you're a man with pride... Don't play any word games with her... You will surely lose! 

Rule #19- Never ask her to wake you up in the morning! Because she does a great job of it and that's annoying! *PING PING PING*

Rule #20- Purple!!! She loves Purple!!! And blue too...

Bonus Rule- Above all else treat her with the kindness, care, respect and love she deserves because she's a special and amazing woman and deserves nothing less...

#FriendZone

How do I tell her?
How do I express my feelings?
I don't want to complicate things
Things are already so complicated as they are now
We're just friends
And good friends at that
When she's been hurt, I was there, I felt her pain
I comforted her, advised her, helped cheer her up

But my care and love for her extends deeper than friendship
I know it is because for a while she's been all that's on my mind
I hold myself back from messaging her to ask her what she's doing
I get jealous when she sees other guys
I dream about her lips, the feeling of a first kiss
Sigh who am I kidding
My thoughts are crazy
I shouldn't cross the line
She probably most likely doesn't even see me that way

But we've been good friends since we met
Every secret she's told me I kept
She trusts me, I trust her
I admire her
Intelligent and beautiful
Strong and womanly
I love her creativity
Would do anything to make her happy, to help her grow, to help her succeed
But we're just friends
And we will never be together....

What is a Mother?

Mother…

She is my friend, my best friend, I can confide in her with anything

She is my secret keeper and my advisor

From relationships, to school, what to wear, what not to wear, my career, dreams and goals

She guides me with her wisdom every step of the way

She is involved in my life as she should be because…

Ma…

She is my support system

She believes in me when no one else does

She encourages me, motivates me and drives me to give my best

A great listener, sometimes I just need someone to listen and she is always there

She is committed to me while nurturing me all the while, forever my…

Mom…

My cheerleader when I succeed

She gleams with pride with everything I accomplish

When I fail or hurt, on her shoulders I lean on

Responsive when I need her

She is there for me, to comfort me, my one and only…

Mummy…

She puts up with me, with my antics, miserableness, insecurities and faults

When I don’t listen to her advice and things turn out just as she said it would she doesn’t even say “I told you so.”

She is patient and understanding with me, allows me to grow on my own and make my own mistakes to learn from

She is accepting of who I am, and not only that…

Moms…

She is strong!

Nothing and no one can match her strength!

She’s like the Incredible Hulk but cooler

A rock, my rock, my fortress of solitude  

How she does it all I do not know, but I’m glad she is able to, she is my…

Mama…

She proves time and time again how much she cares for me

It amazes me actually how one human being could be so kind, so giving and so unselfish

She’s sacrificed so much for me throughout the years

A testament of true love

An unbreakable, unmistakable love

A mother’s love

Mother, Ma, Mom, Mummy, Ma, Mama… It's not about what you call her... It's about what she means to you

For me?

The world