Equilibrium ‘Emotion meets Logic’

In the pink corner… Standing at 5 foot 4 inches… The ‘Epitome of Emotion’… The woman!  And in the blue corner… He stands at 5 feet 9 inches tall… The ‘Lover of Logic’… The man! Now touch gloves and I want a good clean fight!

The male/female dynamic is sometimes like a boxing match. There are some good jabs thrown, one fighter may be quick on their feet, some low blows may get thrown and one fighter could connect with a good punch that knocks out their opponent. Relationships are sometimes like a rivalry between the top ranked fighters in boxing vying for the Championship Belt, the belt of course symbolizes supremacy and absolute control.

So the tone is set, let’s get down to business. Inspired by Economics class today and a conversation I had with a chick I barely know on facebook I decided to write on Emotion vs Logic. Emotion, one would argue is an attribute normally more strongly prevalent in women. Logic on the other hand is generally a more male characteristic. Agreed? Be real… If not don’t bother to read on. For the sake of the argument of this dialogue we’ll view logic and emotion as forces that are opposite and wielded by their masters.

Equilibrium, (this is where the Econ comes in) is a state of rest or balance due to the equal action of opposing forces. That is, where emotion meets logic. The battle between men and women is fought with weapons that repel each other sort of like Voldermort and Harry Potter (yes I’m a nerd J). One of the keys to a SUCCESSFUL relationship however, is balance. Both individuals need to compromise, sometimes you have to lose arguments intentionally, stay quiet, quell bad habits etc. In order to reach that state of balance or ‘EQUILIBRIUM’ an individual must master the appropriate use of both logic and emotion.

The strengths of men are the weaknesses of women and the weakness of a man are the strengths of a woman (site me if you use my quote). Let’s start with women. WOMEN ARE TOO EMOTIONAL! I expect to get backlash here, but ladies think about it. Just hear me out. Wikipedia says “Emotion fundamentally involves physiological arousal, expressive behaviors, and conscious experience. Emotion is associated with mood, temperament, personality, disposition and motivation”. Sounds like you? Now don’t get me wrong… nothing is wrong with being emotional, that is not my argument as you will see when I discuss the men.

The problem with women and being emotional happens when you ‘Live Emotionally’ (Don’t know if these terms have been used before but they sure sound fancy should copyright them). Generally women would base every decision based on emotion. I’ve seen women get emotional for shoes!!! Shoes!!! Now some women would nod and say so what’s wrong with that! I love my shoes, but from the outside looking in that’s just plain crazy. So when everything in your day to day life affects your mood, temperament and disposition (Like running out of blue nail polish souring your whole day) you will definitely run into some problems when you transfer that into a relationship context. Generally women let “things” affect them more than men do, it could be the littlest thing that triggers a series of dramatic, uncalled for emotions.

Additionally when women make decisions based on emotions, ‘follow your heart’ the majority of times it ends up unfavorable to them. E.g. “He cheat on me three times already eh girl… But I love him and I know he loves me so I’ll give him another chance.” Or “Well he does hit me and thing, but I know he has an anger problem and well I’m staying with him for the sake of the kids.” Or “Gosh that man could lie! But I just can’t live without him. One day he’ll change.” HAVE I MADE MY POINT?

Additionally sex is like emotional napalm for women, but that’s another post altogether. In order to have better relationships women need to think like men but not the way you’re thinking! Women need to use more logic when making decisions. It’s that simple. If women would sit back and rationalize a situation, just analyze all the factors at play a lot of them would done with their man one time! But then again that would depend on the reason the woman was in the relationship in the first place. I’d backtrack to say this theory is based on men and women who want to have functional, meaningful relationships. Needless to say if a man is cheating on you ladies, time and time again you need to let go. Forget how much you love him and how long ya’ll have been together and how much ya’ll have been through. Use reason, detach all emotional connections when making your decisions, that is, pretend you didn’t ‘love him’ see if you would still give him another chance. You would? Well you’re crazy and there is no hope for you!

Now given man’s strength of logic is a woman’s weakness, the strength of a woman which is her emotion the weakness of a man. That being said, MEN NEED TO GET EMOTIONAL. Guys reading this would say hold up hommie, stop right there. But guys, if you think about it we do have emotion in us. One word…. SPORTS! When a man is watching or playing his favorite sport he puts all his emotion on the line! I still remember images of Michael Jordan crying like a baby with the NBA Championship in his hand when he won his first ring (beautiful stuff) very touching for any MJ fan. Or when T&T was at the world cup playing England and Crouch pulled on Brent Sancho’s Ras to score the header that changed the match and lost us the game every guy was red with anger.

So guys we can more than find a way to express ourselves emotionally, be kind, show compassion, be considerate, be sensitive, be polite, be gentlemen and all that good stuff women like. I know I know a lot of you would argue women like a man to be a man and don’t want him too sensitive, that’s why I say there needs to be equilibrium. I man needs to understand his woman on that emotional level and still be ALL MAN. He needs to take the time to know her likes, dislikes, her birthday, remember alluh anniversary date etc. It’s ridiculous to think you could be in a relationship with someone and year after year they forget important dates! Guys we need to do better! Simple things like that that we as men usually overlook are what could assist us in being more emotionally sensitive.

Guys you may say “Well I wouldn’t really dig a horrors if she forget my birthday and them anniversary and Valentine’s Day thing is not for me!” The only problem there is you’re not in a relationship with you, or someone who thinks like you and you need to meet women halfway.  

Another thing men definitely need to improve on emotionally is listening. I know, I know guys, women like to babble *sigh* but what can we do? If you truly care about the person you’re with you’d give them time. That’s a big thing for women! So sometimes you just need to turn off the ESPN, stop playing FIFA and just listen to what your woman has to say. Furthermore, you would do well to open up and sharing with her too *gasp*

That being said, communication is another biggie in terms of men embracing their emotional side. Men need to effectively have dialogue with their women and not beat around the bush to respond or hold back thoughts. I know it’s scary sometimes speaking dealing with a woman in a situation where she says “So what you have to say about that?” Our reflex response is usually “Nothing” and we hold back a wealth of things that we wanted to say. I would be best if you just say what’s on your mind and deal with the repercussions now rather than later. Be forewarned however, find the best possible way to say what’s on your mind without starting up some other argument. Most simple arguments in relationships arise because of some sort of breakdown in communication. See guys it’s not that hard to be emotional. *wipes sweat from brow*

To conclude the key to a successful, meaningful relationship is for both men and women to reach to that point of equilibrium. Both must compromise their natural dominant logical and emotional tendencies and create a hybrid of the two. They would then move away from the opposite forces that were working against each other to them working together after all, they say opposites do attract! Therefore in doing so, individually they are allowing for not only the understanding of their counterparts but of themselves and their shortcomings. The problems in relationships aren’t based on the relationships themselves but the individuals involved. So if men and women can effectively improve themselves they will be able to effectively improve their relationships. All in all, the key to not only relationships but life in general is about creating a balance.