Because I have a Penis

Because I have a Penis

I am considered the provider

Because I have a Penis

I like sports

Because I have a Penis

I lack the concept of emotion

Because I have a Penis

I am a slave to the power of women

Because I have a Penis

I leave the toilet seat up

Because I have a Penis

I have to deal with insecure women who want to know where I am, who I’m with, go through my phone and want me to tell her over and over how pretty she is, God forbid I tell her I don’t like her outfit!

Because I have a Penis

I can sleep around and not be called a slut

Because I have a Penis

My brain is used as a backup

Because I have a Penis

I have to deal with those super independent women who claim they can do it all on their own but still want me to still do everything a ‘man’ should do :s

Because I have a Penis

I can act like a dog and get away with it because it’s the norm

Because I have a Penis

Peeing is easier, unzip, drain, shake and go!

Because I have a Penis

I forget birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates but know every single stat of my favourite sports team

Because I have a Penis

A nice ass excites me, big boobies too, and sexy legs oh and I have a thing for long NATURAL hair…

Because I have a Penis

I don’t get my period (thank God) and whine and bitch and make other persons lives a living hell for 5 days

Because I have a Penis

I do all the work to make a baby, it took hard work to put that sperm on that egg (just thinking about all that swimming is making me tired phewww)

Because I have a Penis

I have bad table manners

Because I have a Penis

I have pride

Because I have a Penis

I have an ego that’s even bigger

Because I have a Penis

I am a waste of time father, son and just a general waste of time

Because I have a Penis I am guilty

Lock me up and throw away the key

But I had accomplices

Women who encouraged me, not physically

But mentally, who bought into the ‘male’ stereotype now reinforced into my being

By the media and out of the lips of the opposite sex for years and years

How could you be vex now that the pool of good men is now so thin

When instead of feeding us with good and positivity we are fed with the opposite

My thoughts I offer it

My heart open

My emotions exposed

My penis erect because I have one and it does that

If I had a vagina

If I had a vagina

I wouldn’t have to look both ways when crossing the street

If I had a vagina

All my jokes would be funny

If I had a vagina

My level of intelligence would not matter

If I had a vagina

I would hate everyone else who had a vagina

If I had a vagina

Getting a date would be effortless

If I had a vagina

I’d get away with being a bitch once I say I have my period

If I had a vagina

I would lie about my age

If I had a vagina

Spending my own money would be a thing of the past

If I had a vagina

If I got upset I could throw a tantrum and get away with it

If I had a vagina

I would never pay to get into a club

If I had a vagina

I would want to get married before I’m ready

If I had a vagina

My looks wouldn’t matter

If I had a vagina

I’d always never get a ticket once the police officer is a man 

If I had a vagina

I’d never go hungry

If I had a vagina

I would be devoid of logic

If I had a vagina

I would be governed by my emotions

If I had a vagina

I can go to any club/bar with no money and drink whatever I want all night long

If I had a vagina

I’d be an advocate for equal gender rights but still subscribe to gender roles

If I had a vagina

My heart, mind and soul would all be connected to my cooch

Too afraid of the truth so men feed me lies to feed my insecurities

Just to get to my vagina they would do anything

Buy my vagina is the measure of my worth

Since the day I was put on this earth I would know the power of my pussy

I’d not give it up so easily and cherish it as my one true, pure virtue

But I don’t have a vagina….

Thank God if you’re a woman poor you! :(

Patriot

Red, White and Black
It flows through my veins
When I bleed I bleed the passion of my people, the richness of my nation’s soil and the purity in each and every one of us
Discipline, production and tolerance are my watchwords
I live the motto, “Together we aspire, together we achieve”
I know all the words to the pledge and I recite it daily
I stand at attention and sing my anthem lustily and with beaming pride
I am alive and carefree in sweet sweet T&T
I live for steel pan music
I am the bright splendor, artistry and revelry that is Carnival
The lush warm sound of the Sitar rejuvenates me
I uplifted and elevated by the African drum’s melody
I am dragon boat racing, the bongo and belly dancing
Kaiso music sweet too bad!
Chutney, Rapso and Soca are a part of who I am
I find sustenance in roti, gyros, paleau, fried wantons, pepper pot, callaoo, crab and dumplings, doubles, corn soup, coconut water shark and bake and blue food
I am a multi ethnic rainbowrifick Trinibagonian Patriot
I support my country in whatever we do
I am a national icon, a national hero
I am Miss World, Miss Universe, an Olympic and World Championship gold medallist, a record holding batsman, a Grammy Award winner, an Emmy Award recipient, a Nobel Prize winner and a World Cup qualifying team
I represent the pride of Trinidad and Tobago
I am the Chaconia, the Cocrico, the humming bird and the Scarlet Ibis
I am beautiful, vibrant, peaceful, warm, friendly, colourful, creative, up-tempo and unique
I am the same nationality as God
I am a Trinbagonian
I am a Patriot

I litter
I steal from my fellow man
I murder, I rape, I kidnap
I have no respect for authority or the law
I am corrupt
I disrespect the national anthem by not standing at attention and talking while it's playing
I hunt the Scarlet Ibis for its bright plumage
Don’t ask me to recite the pledge, watchwords or motto because I don’t know
Steelpan music does give me a headache but pan semis I dey!
I am a racist
For me together we fall apart so I ride solo
I am selfish
I rather KFC, Burger King and Subway yes!
Soca is for Carnival I don’t really wanna hear it after that
My favourite music is dancehall
Calypso too boring and confusing
I import my style of dress, speech and ideologies from foreign
True? Trinidad win a Nobel Prize?
Wait... Who is V.S Naipaul Anyways?
I am a Trinidadian success and achievement bandwagonist
When I hear Trinidad is a rich nation it confuses me
I refer to Trinidad and Tobago as Trinidad all the time
I have never been to the pitch lake
I have never been to Tobago
I lack pride
I have lost hope
I am a Trinbagonian
I live here among the Patriots

Can you tell the difference?

My definition of a Gold digger

I jokingly asked one of my female friends to hook me up with a friend of her's that I saw on a pic with her. She said plainly that I don’t have a chance and that I don’t have anything that she would be interested in me offering her. I was astounded and replied and listed what I had to offer. Not impressed, she then asked if I had a car and a house and if I had a successful career.

I calmly gave her an instant reply and asked if her friend had a car, a house and had a successful career. She said that didn't matter and I told her plainly that her friend was a Gold digger.

My definition of a Gold digger?

“When a woman whose base standard for what a man (she would want to be in a relationship with) should possess is way beyond or drastically exceeds what she currently has”.

Therefore most women are Gold diggers!

Because no woman be trying to get with no “scrub” or “broke fella” when they themselves are in the same scrub/broke boat!

Think about it and be honest with yourself. How could it be fair or rather how can in make any logical sense, that a woman who has not acquired neither their ideal career, a car and a house want or deserve a man who has established all of the above for himself. What does she bring to the table? How does she or can she fulfill him as a man (besides sexually of coursewhich isn’t lasting)? And because of that lack of fulfillment the man would not be happy in the relationship and it will go sour! Only the woman enjoys fulfillment and that isn’t a healthy relationship. Ponder on that…

Furthermore if a man who is in a situation like that “demands” that his woman cook, wash, clean, iron and have sex with him when her wants I don’t think that it is unreasonable. He is merely trying to cash in on what he paid for. And in my opinion he is well within his rights to do so.

Like should be with Like.

Couples around the same financial and emotional level with each other will be better off in the long run. I intentionally said emotional level because some women can be emotional and mental Gold diggers too! Gold digging is not only about money but most women forcefully try to extract emotions from a man that sometimes he may not be ready for. Buy hey de pussy nice! So man in his weakness will succumb to a woman’s demands.

The problem is that women want it all right now and they want a man to provide it all right now! Sounds pretty lazy and selfish and even evil if you ask me. Why not go out and get your own, blaze your own trail and not rely on a man for things that are well within your reach if you put out the effort.  See it every day…man has car woman uses man who has car to do her bidding. Pick me up nah… Let’s go here… I wanna go beach etc. Ummmmm get your own damn car! But of course they have no ambition of doing such. I admire women who do not rely on men financially or use them for their assets and what he can do for you because women do that every day.

Why not grow with a man and be successful together? Help each other progress, support each other and reap the mutual benefits together. Yeah it would take a while longer but you've earned it!

I can go on and on about this but I’ll close with this. The selection process of a woman for a man is flawed because she is not able to truly connect and fulfill the needs of the type of man she desires. So women… Stop the gold digging and putting pressure on a man financially. There are a lot of ambitious guys out there who will get there some day who deserve a chance. Furthermore get your own! Make your own money and support your own damn bad habits! Drive yourself to the beach, buy your own make up, take yourself shopping, take yourself to dinner or to the club and until you can do all of that on your own shut the hell up! Let us guys grow and develop just as you grow and develop and don’t put us down.

Real Talk. If you don’t like it your eyes are closed you can ignore it. If you have an open mind I hope I sparked some level of positive thinking.